The choice

Some things in life you need to live with,some live through,others-leave behind.I just wish each of us could distingish between them and make the right choice.Those you decide to live with must be the ones that bring happiness,warm your heart and calm the soul.They are not easy to get and sometimes you need to fight  for them.Those you chose to live throgh shouldn't last long,because if they becoming permanently abusive-leave them behind but take the experience from them, doensn't matter if it's positive or negative.Leave behind everything you have if you feel it doesn't worth living.There's a chance to start over again,always. 

Soulmate

Life is not about doubting things,it's about gaining trust and understanding. Love is not about measuring distance or exposing feelings to whole world. There's time for everything and "everything" has a scecial meaning to each of us.

***

It's never been raining this much before. Cruel wind seems to blow all the thoughts out of mind. There’s no chance to see a smile in this city, not now, not today. Rain washes away the streets, with its people.Colors blend into one dirty gray mass No artist would use it for a picture. The smoke from local bakeries wraps frozen to bones people and brings them minute relief from cold tension.

Within this mortal city I see you. You‘re walking down the filthy Green street. Black slicker and blue jeans. Nothing different from other figures. Nothing but your eyes. They are shining as a sun that just arose upon the waiting Earth. Nothing but your smile that keeps a mystery inside. You’re not from here and it’s easy to notice. Your look isn't lost,it is travelling up and down the street. It is curious, wondering not weary from daily routine. Why did you come here? What are you looking for,stranger? No, not a stranger, no more, not to me..

Land of the free?

For a  long time America has attracted people because of the freedom of religion. Here in America one can feel safe choosing what to believe or express knowing that no one will persecute him for his religious views.

Through the years the population grew in the United States not only with people but also with nationalities, bringing traditions, beliefs and with it whole culture. Generations by generations those new comers were assimilated to the main American stream.

Nowadays the United States has hundreds of different nationalities living within the country. With so many nationalities one can find many churches. Baptist, Church of Christ, Church of God, Methodist Church, Lutheran ,Catholic and many more. All of them different in some ways but they all still convey The Word of God. Christians  just interprets the Bible in various ways.

Despite Wednesday, Saturday or Sunday services, religion is a part of every-day life .I found that some time ago, prayers were set in the beginning of the school day and at ball games. But because we are so diversified, and worship out God in different ways, government took prayers out. Instead of prayer now many schools have a moment of silence, so each person can feel free and comfortable in his/her religious preferances.

Yes, religion and state are existing separately, but as we can see, it is not working this way completely.

In my school some students go to the FCA-Fellowship Christian Athletes every Thursday morning. The number of this group is growing because more and more students want to be surrounded and led by their religion every single moment.

 Our small community in Fulton, Mississippi is a mixture of Southern hospitality and conservatism People here stay close to their traditions and beliefs. But as people come here to settle from different parts of the world ,they bring with them their culture, ideas and beliefs.

But the new stream of life is not making every person happy. Majority of them see the new comers as strangers, people who are looking to change their calm quiet life. When people close their minds to new things, they lose a lot.

An unfamiliar religion like Muslim is one of the things that people don’t like to hear about. Showing ones point of view, speaking up about religion, one can hurt or make someone angry. No, first Amendment is not protected in small areas like this , not in the  South. Here, the person does not feel freedom of religion that the Constitution promises. This close-mindedness of the people does not allow acceptance of different views.

We say that America is a Melting Pot. But do Americans really want everybody to be the same? People enjoy going to the new Italian, Greek or French restaurant that will open, to try something different. Don’t we want to taste something different and unusual from what we have on out tables now? If they are so anxious to try new food, why not to learn more about another religion? The more  we know the more we can discuss and learn. The easy way is to close ones ears and say,” I don’t need it” or “I already know everything”. But is this really the right way

Separation between church and state; do we still believe in this statement? The process of elections always includes questions about religion. People want to know what governors or senators believe or do they believe at all. Prayer services are usually held in churches for the elections and for the future of America. Presidential elections this year brought about many discussions covering different aspects .One of them was religion. As far as that people I asked, half of them said that they would not vote for Muslim president. So, where is the freedom of religion? Why should one be criticized by his beliefs and origins?

Above the clouds...

Amazing place named  Mountain View. Small town with kind and friendly people..where music coming out from small park and where dwellers spending their evenings. The atmosphere of this tiny oasis in the mountains just perfect. Seems like something magical  fulfilling  in the air. Morning sunrise..coming out from the hills. Slowly tops of the  trees becoming golden and in a minute everything sinking in  sunshine…Coffee fume..and haze..blending together..making this place so mysterious..Fresh air blowing in my face…cheeks becoming red…nose too …And no explanation to that.. like a small child becoming happy enjoying this morning…

Sitting here...the window is opened and hot  breeze blowing right in my face...The warmest summer ever...Taking a deep breathe...seems like everything inside  is burning...Memories..so much memories..so many moments spinning in my mind..reminding me of you and about our time -our first july ..together.
No.actually ..we were  always  together...all the time..There were no day ,no hour ,no minute i had doubts you're not with me.You always appearing in front of me.No matter where I  go or what I do...just know you're near...helping me,supporting me.Ah ...that crazy at first time countdown...it seemed so huge.But  dear,gosh,we were saying just two hundred days...so optimistic...time were always under our control ..and as we were waiting together...it was becoming shorter and shorter...Than ...last month..last week..last day...Unbelievable....already standing in the airport..your plane finally landed.And I swear those fourty five minutes were the longest in my life...Than...first hugs ..first kisses ...I thought this eleven days won't have an end...You rememer...we were flying..Darling...we were so high...
Time have no mercy,dear...Last time I saw you..Gosh..it was just like the first time....those emotions ..fulfilled  ....me once again..Like a wave covering you ..and you going deeper and deeper..Than we're ..in our private ocean......ocean of love...
You ...me....we.....always we...staying apart ,so far from each other...
With every second...we becoming closer...
And I just know that right now you here..with me...

Follow your dream

I want to start with telling  you my short story...
It was my dream since 8-th grade ...Pictures ,TV programmes,songs,books ..all was about it..."Mom ...can you see ,can you hear ...that's really amazing country with plenty opportunities.Mom ,I really want to visit it..i want to see life of those people,want to talk to them.Yes mom ,I know ,my English is not so perfect as needs but mom,I promise,i'll learn it...I'll do all i can,i'll go there...
9-th grade
Second year of learning English with ACCESS Programm.

September.I decided  to start learning French.There i met a girl and she told me about one amazing chance to make my dream come true..It was FLEX Programm(Future Leader's Exchange) I decided to participate in it.I wasn't so sure about my English skills but i was following my  dream ..just that.First tour-passed,second-passed,third...i was  waiting for results till april...i was so desperate...April...they called to all finalists..not to me...tears,regrets,sadness... That moment was just so painful...and it seemed that i lost ..lost my trust...lost my dream....ACCESS classes were continuing...and last monthes before graduation...One day teacher told us to take part in essay's competition..she said..u should be in this classroom on Thursday at 15:30...My extra English classes were always just after school..and i was so tired.That day i was even more tired than ever and all i wanted is just to come home and relax,but mom said to me to go to that classes...Thursday..Finally i entered  the class...I saw many students from each group of our programm...They all looked so clever...i thought i had no chance to win in this comptition...We had to write an essay....i wrote it quicly and just went home....some weeks later someone called to mother's phone...he was talking in English and asked me..My hands were shaking ...who could it be?It was man from American Embassy in Ukraine...So i had an interview by phone..it was second part of that essay's competition...It was so great talking to him and understand that he want to listen you,listen what you want to say,listen what you think..My last phrase was:"I really want to go there,can I?" He answered that he'll do what he can to help me..But it was 3 more students who had an interview ..so i thought that i'm not the only girl he want to help.Time  running so fast ... May came and i forgot about all those competitions..i thought only about school..Once ,when i was at school my phone rang and....and...
"Congratulations!You became finalist of ACCESS essay's programm,you'll go to the USA...
Kyiv...Borispol Airport..Mom ,dad ,brother...everyone was waiting ..everyone was so nervous."Bye..bye...mom.... daaaad..!"
First flight to Paris ..Bonjour..Attachez votre ceinture..Ah?What?-"Fasten your seat belt"

Wow!What a  view from the window!Airport.."Mom,i'm already in Paris"..send message..Well,where 's the teacher from Egypt.?.hm..have to find her...Hello!My name is Shereen..And it's Sabrine,Ridha,Esraa,Arsany..Hey ..we have to meet someone from Mauritania!...Hello,my name is Alliu..and mine-Demba..Next flight...
5 hours later...ocean ocean ocean...
+ 2 hours gosh..I see the ground..
Already in the US...!!!Yeah!!!
Two women with name tags..
 Hm..they're smiling to us..hah..sure truly native americans..no doubt..
Beauty and Tara..(American naaaaaaames...mmmm)))+ one small note:.my daughter's name will be Beauty,..for sure!!!!!
Hotel..Marriott.One of the most famous  in the USA and well known in whole world.My room mate..Sabrine..from Tunisia..Well,okay.."Hello,Sabrina..or you're Sabrine?Ah? "Hey,Marina!We'll leave hotel tomorrow?"-"Hm..i guess...Beauty said..hmmmm....ya..tomorrow"-"Lat's take some snapshots?m?"-"In pijamas?Hah..okay"
"Is it your mom?Are they  your friends?"-"Yes..yes..."
Tears tears tears..."Want to see mom..I'm in Washingtom..mom..Washington...mom..."
2 am -no sleep..
3 am - "too cold here ..how to turn off air conditioning..?"
First morning in the "Country  of  My dreams" 
Breakfast were waiting..than bus..than .We're at 4-H Youth Centre..
Many students...come and go...come and go..My new roommates are Sabby,Linh and Agus!There're really cute..They're always understand and try to help..when i need it....We're like a  sisters..
Classes,excursions..and evenings again..I hate evenings..no..i'm not afraid of darkness ...or don't like to sleep..no..Evenings ..the time when tears're  just coming to my eyes and i can't stop missin my family..Skype..ya,it helps..and then another morning..day..good times..So many new places..everything's looking so different ,so awesome..Cafe on the street , red and white polka-dot tablecloth...Oh..how i wish to stop the bus here and take a cup of coffee..Mmm...another week is coming...
Our  next stop is Philadelphia....Same room mates..great..who can be better than my sisters..right..no one!))
No classes..just excursions...Famous places again.  Oh i forgot to say..in Washington we saw The Capitol,Smithonian Museum,The White House,home of George Washington..Mount Vernon..and many many other sights...This weeks flew so fast and the next one and the last one by the way were waiting to come...
Airport..and we're waiting for a plane to ...try to guess where?Hah..sure to California!!!!
Terminal.and Martin's reading my book....Nora Roberts..."Wow,how..tell me ,how can you read in russian..?"..He's amazing...."Hey,Marina...do not take my boyfriend..."-"Ah,what...what are you talking about?we're just reading book..."
San Diego..i took my luggage...
Host mom and host sister...Sabby and me  going home...our new SD home..
Morning....putting on  purple dress..and going to take breakfast..Tosts..and peanut  butter...yummi...mmm..
Hello,my name is Kevin and i'm gonna pick you up to classes and home this week..
In the car..wow...(note; to buy a car like this when i'll be older..)"By the way..what's the name of the car..,Kevin..?"
Intrax office..mentors.."Hello,my name 's Estefania"
Cool,Stef is mexican-american girl....she's so nice...
Day by day...project...environment...HTH school...-wow..i wish we could have the same one in Ukraine..
Shopping almost every day..roller-coaster...i thought i would die..
San Diego Zoo...everything is so huge and..oh woah..have no words...
Last  days...morning and our host mom making hair do for me and Sabby...evening is coming...i'm not sad anymore...and evenings doesn't mean tears since we left  Washington...
Huge hall..many people from Intraч,students..hosts...I'm standing..in front of all them...haтds and voice are shaking..."Environment ..is...we  have to protect it....and..world  will be a better place..wanna say thanks for everything..Tara,Beauty...Kevin...hosts..."
Morning again ..and we're waiting for Kevin outside...Beach BBQ...cool...ocean...so much fun..
Than..everyone starting to  understand that tomorrow..... we....all.....are...coming....home
Heart is beating..tears again.."Hope to see you again...no..no...don't wanna say goodbye..no..."Everyone is scrapping for each other...Martin...hugs..."Goodbye..."
Suitcase ...handbag...everything's already prepared...
Last night...all moments of this 3 weeks ..like an album with  pics..in my mind....
about 4 am...car...airport.."Bye,girls..hope to see you again someday"...Host mom...bye..
And we all...coming by host's cars ...about 5.30 am.."Bye..bye...guys...Martin...bye.."Our terminal....half of students already gone...Time.....slowly....minute by minute...it's time to say the last goodbye to Zain,Fikile,Ntina.,Izz...
".Attachez votre ceinture.".."Okay okay..i know..seatbelt.."
Last seconds..everyone is clapping..
Hello,Ukraine...
Weclome home again...
September ...
October ...
November...
Gosh...I can take part in FLEX again...one more trip to the US...ya..what a chance!
1-st tour--done,
2-nd- done..
3-rd...long time waiting..
once again..ya,but i was in the US already..i know what i want...just make my dream come tue..once more..God..please...
"Martin..no..I can't believe..July ..5-th...Martin"  loving you,dear...
God..thanks so much..Martin will come,God..I won't ask you about anything else anymore...
Just some days left.."You remember..just 240...just 200..just 119..and now...just 81 days"
"Hello ,it's American Councils"...
I'm a FLEX  finalist...gosh...
One year in the US...
Friends are asking when I'm gonna be there...where will i stay...
And I just can't believe my happiness...
It's gonna be the best summer ever..and than an amazing year...
Dreams come true..now i believe...
P.S I understood it when I've met you...
Well ..life.is brilliant
..to be continued....